My friend Katibeth has been telling me for sometime that I need to start writing a blog. I love that she has dreams for me that I don’t have myself. I usually just laugh it off when she says I need to write because who am I to write a blog. Who would even read it? Well I guess I’m about to find out.
The definition of lagniappe is something given as a bonus or extra gift. Which if you’re from south Louisiana then you know that. But why would I want my blog to be named that? Well these years that I’m living are lagniappe, extra.
My childhood wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. I experienced abuse at a young age. Not young enough to have no memory of it but young enough to have a lasting impact. It started off small with just verbal abuse which grew to physical and then you guessed it grew to sexual abuse. I kept this a secret. For years. When I was in high school, the truth slowly leaked out in a poem I had to write for a class assignment. I only told a little snippet of what happened but it was enough to send him to jail for a short period of time.
When the abuse was out into the light my darkness started. I had all these emotions and feelings but didn’t know what to do with them. I was still hiding things in me. I became depressed but I tried to hide it from everyone because they didn’t know about the abuse. I was so shameful about it (which is a totally different story). For years just as I did the abuse, I hid my depression. It seemed like the more I hid my depression, the more it intensified. I began to self harm as a way to cope with the pain. But it didn’t help much. I was still depressed. Still hurting. Still having suicidal thoughts.
This is where lagniappe comes in. I did not see myself living past the age of 21. I had a plan. But so did the Lord. Two months before I turned 22 the Lord got a hold of my heart. 2 months. That’s all I thought I had left to live but God! I am 30 now. I have lived 9 more years than I thought I would live and prayerfully I have many more but all these year are just lagniappe. They are given as a gift. From the Lord to me.
It hasn’t been all rainbows and sunshine since surrendering my heart over to the Lord but it’s been worth it. I hope this blog encourages people. I hope when you read it you will see life. I hope to share adventures I go on. I hope to share the struggles I go though. The good and the bad has been given as extra to me and I hope by sharing it will bring extra to your life.
My Lagniappe Years 